Jaws's Old Chum

Hey, Richard Dreyfuss! It's never safe to go back in the water. In a movie.

Dreyfuss, you dork. Don't you remember when that sheriff guy told you to get a bigger boat? And now you're here, in Piranha 3-D, chillin' on a lake with your little dingy. Did defeating Jaws make you cocky? We get it. Now that Roy Scheider's kicked the bait bucket, you don't feel you need to take his advice any more. Fine. We'll cut you some slack. Fictional characters, after all, probably don't realize that the movie they're in is a bloodbath waiting to happen.

And without stupid swimmers, a movie about killer fish wouldn't be any fun. Yet shouldn't the guy who survived Jaws know better? "Ah," you might think, "but this is surely a different character." Except Dreyfuss is drinking Amity beer, and his character's name is Matt. Director Alexandre Aja has publicly admitted that he's not allowed to say the surname aloud for fear of legal action...but yeah, we all know it's an homage to the immortal Hoop.

It's cool that Dreyfuss was willing to go to a watery grave 35 years after escaping the first one, but what of other luminaries in Piranha's past? Alas, James Cameron, acclaimed director of Piranha II: The Spawning, turned down a cameo. But then, he knows better than anyone: even bigger boats sink.

Chomp on Piranha 3-D August 20th, 2010.

Forward to a Buddy Invite a Buddy