Bike to the Future

A bicycle that hits 50 mph might actually let you fly

by Christopher Fealy

Whenever you buy new gadgets, you always make sure to get the most advanced model. The fastest PC. The skinniest TV. The deadliest robot butler. (They bring you your slippers…and the heads of your enemies!)

So you’ll obviously be interested in picking up a hybrid electric bike from manufacturer M55. Their first mechanized monster is so bad-a$$, it’s not only named The Beast…it actually lives up to that name. Even if exercise isn’t usually your thing, riding The Beast takes the "work" out of working out. Its motor doesn’t throttle on like a motocross dirt bike. Instead it churns into action when you start pedaling, giving your feeble legs a bionic boost. Coming soon is The Daemon, an urbanized chassis designed for city use.

The motors on these bikes are so amped, you can tear up hills without having to stand while pedaling. In fact, the drive system is powerful enough that if you’re really jamming on a straight-away, you can travel at almost 50 mph. We repeat: 50 mph. On a bicycle! This explains the scary model names. At that speed, they could maim you.

If you decide to grab an M55, do us all a favor and remember that sometimes life sucks and so do uneven paved surfaces. Wear a helmet. If our calculations are correct, when these babies hit 50 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious sh!t.

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